2.5 Sticky Rice cake (or Banh Chung)

In my early childhood,
Growing up in the west,
Mother used to pack our lunch,
With these square sticky rice cakes,
Pan fried,
Sliced in triangles,
Wrapped in banana leaves.

The banana leaves 
Gave the sticky rice cake or "bang chung"
A savory fresh flavor,
Which contrasted with the crispy,
Crunchiness of the fried outside skin.

Inside the cake, pressed between
Layers of glutinous sticky rice, 
engulfed in it,
a filling of bean paste,
with small bits of pork meat,
Amply seasoned with eastern spices.

With a bit of fish sauce dipping,
We've tasted heaven.
Banh Chung is normally served
Within the days of the lunar new year.

During lunch time at school,
When we opened our lunch box,
Attempt to unwrap our cakes,
The other children would tease us,
Tell us it looked funny.

For the color of the banana leaves,
Infused into the skin of the rice cake,
Gave it an alien green color.

Although we did love the sticky rice cakes,
We had to tell mother to stop.
Since then we ate our cakes,
Enjoying them with only our close ones.

2.4 Boy from across the creek

Passion is always a mystery and unaccountable,
and unfortunately there is no doubt
that life does not spare its purest children 
and often it is just the most deserving people 
who cannot help loving those that destroy them.
~ Hermann Hesse

There is this boy, 
from across the creek.
He is a boy from the west,
But lives on the south side
Of this creek,
Near the sandy beaches.

On the north side of the creek,
Where the majestic boat docks,
And rolling mountains on the back drop,
Lives a girl of the east.

Both the boy and the girl,
Have the perfect life.
Perfect place,
Perfect friends,
Perfect family,
Perfect job,
Perfect suitors.

She think she loves this boy,
from across the creek.
But in reality, 
she only loves the idea of him.
He seemed to be the perfect muse.
She uses him to be her muse,
In her writing, in her art.

She sees a picture of him.
His photo annoys her to death.
She is cursing at him, inside,
Cursing at his sneaky grin,
Cursing at his silliness,
Cursing at his distancing lecture.

On other days,
When she is more dreamy,
She sees the boy in a more rosy light.
Then she would idealize him,
Place him on a pedestal.
Dream about being with him.

He opens his mouth,
Then the dreamy bubble burst.
She curses him again,
For bursting her bubble.

One day,
She decides to move away.
Move away from the creek,
Move away from him,
Move away from all the noise,
Far, far away, to the east.

2.3 God's Rescue

Using our nepotic ties,
We were able to cross over to the West.
Others were rescued by God's messenger.
Families, who were once Buddhist,
Now prays to a new God of the West.

One day, when I was five,
I wandered throughout the intermittent camp and
Stumbled upon a church.
As I peaked in, I saw
People walking in a line,
Towards a priest in a dark robe.
He held out a bowel,
Inside, with round white flakes.

I merged into the moving line,
Motioned towards the priest.
As I opened my mouth,
Closed my eyes,
I received a light tasteless flake.

Being the ignorant child that I was,
I ran back to the line again,
Moved up towards the priest,
And again, opened my mouth,
Closed my eyes.
He recognized me,
Pats me on the head,
No sacred bread.

My good friend Lan and her family
Was rescued by one of God's messenger.
Her family was fortunate,
To be rescued by a church in the West.

After the cross over to the west,
She was to attend Sunday mass,
And were told many puzzling stories,
That women, including young girls
Grew out of men's rib cage.
That Eve, gave Adam the poisoned apple,
Which is how only men had the adam's apple.

If all these were true,
And women grew out of a men,
Then womem must belong to men.

2.2 Escapes in Despair

Our family did miraculously escape.
We escaped the waves of the South China Sea,
The despair of being separated from loved ones,
The lost of lives, lost limbs, retained dignity.

Stories of others were not so reassuring.
Once, I had a friend who told me of the lost
of her five year old brother.
The pirates came, took everything,
Including the boy.

From that day forward,
Her father stopped eating meat.
He prayed everyday for the safety of the boy.
He prayed that they would take him in,
Raised him as their own.
That was all he could ask for from God.

There were stories of families,
Running in the night,
Crossing the train tracks,
A young toddler falls,
The on-coming train took both of his legs.

Decades later, 
Ti and I would see him walking,
With artificial limbs,
We saw him walk with a sort of bounce
Across the street.

There were stories with violent,
Which flared up from a camp in Hong Kong,
One day the riot started
And not one woman was spared from rape.
After that incident, 
the camp was closed down.
All refugees were sent back to their home country.

2.1 Of Beauty

I could get it wrong, 
could think I'm beautiful,
Like women who really are beautiful,
Like women who are looked at,
Just because people really do look at me a lot.
What I want to seem,
I do seem,
Beautiful too if people want me to be.
~ Marguerite Duras

I was average looking as a young girl,
But there was something about me,
That stood out -the breast.
They started to develop at age eleven.

By the time I was in junior high,
I had C-cup size breast,
In a petit body.
Those who did not know me,
Would ask my friends if they were real.
Older men would look at them.

Once in my early twenties,
I followed a wedding party
To this beautiful park named after a queen.

As my partner and I  stood aside,
For another wedding party to pass,
The groom seemed to have caught a glimpse of me,
And my large, voluptuous breast.
He couldn't stop staring.

As you can imagine,
The horrifying look on his bride,
Dragging her groom down the garden path.
It must have been at least 20 feet,
And an angry bride in white
Before the staring stopped.

Puzzled, I turned to my partner,
I asked him why is the groom staring at us?
My partner responded that the groom,
Must have been an old friend from long ago.

2.0 A profound sadness

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed with our tears once in a while,
so we can see our Life with a clearer view." ~ Alex Tan

This profound sadness,
Engulfs me,
Takes a hold of me.
For no apparent reason,
I am sadden,
In mourning.
But I've lost nothing.

It is the heaviness of the heart,
Like weights placed on the chest.
The shortness of breath.
Emotions, tears wants to spill out,
But for no logical reasons.
There is no purpose to release them.
I wonder if this is a sign,
Of a lost I am unaware of.